Day 2, The Trouble with Mother

Everyone has one. We call her Mother or Mama or Mums or anything like that. Mine is an independent soul. She has been married 4 times and I can’t count the boyfriends or manfriends as she calls them. She has had more men in and out of her life than anyone I know. I never wanted to be her. I wanted a strong, everlasting marriage like my grandparents had. My mother has always had her own house, career, and life. If a man didn’t like the way she lived, it was goodbye man.

Judy called her last night and told her everything Jeff had said at dinner.

“Don’t worry about anything.” He said to our children. “Jenni will make you an awesome home and be the best mother ever!”

That was when Ben exploded. Ben has known Jenni since we moved into this house. Mike and Carol were the first people on the block to welcome us to the neighborhood. Jenni was always a cute baby with all her curls. She would run around the neighborhood on her tricycle to visit all the other kids. She still is a social butterfly. She became head cheerleader when she was a freshman. Quite a feat for a tiny child.

“JENNI! MY MOTHER! ARE YOU CRAZY!” He sure does know how to yell. Sometimes I think Ben has spent too much time at my dad’s house. He has more of my dad in him than he does of Jeff or even Jeff’s parents. ” I THINK YOU NEED YOUR HEAD EXAMINED! WE HAVE A GREAT COUNSELOR AT SCHOOL! I DON’T THINK MATT IS GONNA LIKE THIS AT ALL. HE GAVE JENNI A PROMISE RING 3 WEEKS AGO! WHY CAN’T YOU FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE LIKE MOM?”

“Jenni is fun and she knows Matt is just a cover until she is 18 which she is now.” At that statement Ben stood up, grabbed the knife next to him, looked at it, and decided to punch the wall instead.

Judy and my mom where on the phone for hours or so it seems when you are still in shock and running around your house like a zombie.

This morning, I really didn’t feel like getting out of bed. I heard the kids downstairs and a very familiar voice.

“Damn it” I said under my covers.

The voice came up the stairs and into my room. There is a tug at my blankets.

“Go away and leave me alone!” I told the voice.

“I will not, Alice Eugenia! Get your ass out of bed this instant.”

“I do not wish to leave my bed at this moment, and you can never make me.”

“Oh really?”

Ok. I may be in a bit of trouble with that tone. I peaked a bit out of the covers. Then I told the voice, “I am not leaving my bed, you can’t make me, and all I ever wanted was a marriage like grandma’s!”

“Oh my gawd, seriously! Your grandparents did not have a perfect marriage you know. My father had affairs on my mother all the time. She just stayed with him like an obedient dog.  Stop acting like her. I raised you to be a worshipped goddess not a dog to some filthy man. Men stray all the time. They never stay with one woman. The sooner you realize this, the better your life will be. You can’t be basing your whole life around a man or even your children. You have to live your life for yourself. Your children grow up and have their own lives eventually and men, well they find perkier breasts to hold. ”

At that she grabbed my covers again and we played the stupid game of tug of war with the covers. A game I haven’t played with her since my school years. She succeeded in dragging me and the blankets to the floor.

“There.” she said, “Now get up and make us all breakfast. I for one am starving. And I believe it is time for you to follow your dreams. Time to stop being a barista or whatever they call you down at that coffee shop and get a career you love. Time for you to stop being an obedient dog! Men come and go, you will always be with you. Now chop chop. Get up, get dressed, and get downstairs. Life awaits you!”

At that the voice left my room. I heard her walking down the stairs and talking to my babies. I pulled the blankets off my head and stood up. My mirror sure didn’t hide the ugliness of my hair. I walked to the bathroom and started showering. I walked back to my bedroom and got dressed in my sweatpants with a baggy shirt. Not what my mother would want me to wear but oh well.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Ben and Judy were already making some sort of breakfast with my mother’s guidence.

“You call that dressing?” She says to me giving me that look.

“Its not like I am going to school.” I snapped back to her.

“Doesn’t matter even if you are. You should dress more appropriately and put on some makeup. You can’t attract a man without looking your best.”

“Mom, I just found out less than 24 hours ago, I am getting a divorce. I really don’t want a man right now.”

My mother decided to do one of her dramatic sighs then says, “Fine. But do go to that nasty job your so called husband wanted you to have.  You have bills to pay right now. Then make yourself a spa day. Oh never mind, I will do that. Time for some mother-daughter time. I think you need a whole new routine. Call your friends up. I know they will help get you out of this slump.”

“SLUMP! MOTHER IT HAS ONLY BEEN 24 HOURS!” According to Ben and Judy, I looked like some freaky teenager doing some wild child thing to my mother since I had a wild look on my face and I was swinging my arms around.

“Stop being so dramatic!”

Leave it to my mother to think I am being the dramatic one.



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