A status update because I am staying off Facebook!

It has been a day or so since I wrote anything. First, I hate Windows 10. This brand new HP I got for Christmas sucks with Windows 10. It is constantly crashing. Windows 10 needs to be thrown in the garbage! I would prefer Windows 7 or XP to this shitty ass version! Hey Microsoft, here’s an idea, and let’s include Facebook and picsart in this as well, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it! All this playing with shit needs to end. You are ruining what was once really great! Instead of making it better, you are making it like a pot of coffee that has sat on the burner for a week and is now nothing but burnt and gross!

burnt coffee 2

 

The other thing I have been doing is crocheting for others and working. Plus the constant cleaning of my house. Feeding chickens, birds, cats, dogs, goats, and the like really makes up my whole day. Gotta love farming and having a career that isn’t farming as well.

I found a great sale on yarn going on at JoAnn’s Fabric! The one pound yarns are now on sale for 6.99 and they have all the rest on sale 2/$5. You can’t beat this even at Wal-Mart. I hate getting yarn at Wally World. Usually you can see someone has torn it out from the middle and shoved it back in. They don’t take very good care of anything there. At JoAnn’s and Michael’s, you don’t have that or dirty yarn. I told our local Wally about some yarn that was dirty and they said, “Don’t worry about it. Someone will buy it.” Come on. Have some pride here. I pay a few pennies more at the other two but the yarn isn’t dirty nor has the middle been torn out and shoved back in. It is always nicely kept and the same color is always with those colors not moved somewhere else. If you are a yarn buff and need it to survive, head to JoAnn’s Fabric for their sale.

Well, back to cleaning and crocheting. I have to get stuff done. Write again soon.

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Stress Balls

I have a few ideas for my own crochet designs of stress balls. As a massage therapist, I have way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, and many more way, too many clients who are just plain stressed out! I do offer meditation classes as well to help ease the day out of stress. Teaching meditation classes wasn’t really my forte and I have to plan each session carefully.  From the music to what I say, each class is focused.  I even throw in aromatherapy into meditation since certain smells will trigger a relaxation sensation.

That being said, I go on you tube all the time to check out what others have created so I don’t make their product. Which is really hard since everything has pretty much been made.  I am thinking about making some stress balls to sell. One of the places I have a booth for most years is our local steam and gas show.  I want to make some cute little animals like cats, dogs, squirrels, chickens, birds, frogs, and the like. I love to do crafts. Crafts keep me sane. I drink coffee and work on crafts outside of my employment that is. Writing is another passion of mine. I love it. Especially when I can kill something which is forbidden in real life.

So anyway, I was watching this video on stress balls and learned of the Craft Yarn Council.  Never knew this existed! I went on facebook and liked their page! I found a couple of articles there you will all love. One deals with what I have said before about amigurumi. You need to know math and what better skill than crocheting and knitting to make math really stick.  I have three links for you.

CYC – Craft Yarn Council

Girls Knit Their Way to a Math Career

Adidas takes the sweat out of sweater shopping with in-store machine

The other reason I have for this post is, I want to make a stress ball that is mine. I need a great idea like should it be a carrot or a mouse. Something that hasn’t been over done or hasn’t been done at all. What are your ideas? I can make them in funny faces, as animals, as flowers, as trees, as elements, but they have all been done. Someone even made the planets. I need a great idea that is my brand. So, please, put your thinking caps on and help me!

Ahhh Good Morning!

I figured before I have to run and start my day, I would put a very quick post up. I created that page I wanted but, I did it in the proper blog. I realized last night as I was dreaming that my KWP Money Reiki blog was the best place for it. You see, I am a Reiki Master and Teacher. Therefore, I believe anything that will open your mind and stretch your soul is great for you to learn and grow. I figured out as well how to make it so not everyone will get offended. I password protected it. Now, I need to figure out how to keep stuff off the reader that I don’t want everyone reading.

I realized that this soul searching darkness is great for students who wish to learn and grow since most people who get offended easy are not awaken yet. They are stuck in a world that is just dull. They can’t deal with the light let alone how to wrestle with your dark side so you can become the best lightworker on the planet.

I placed it in the best spot and now, I can learn and grow as well as anyone else who wishes to open their minds without being offended. Ahh. What a glorious way to start a day!

Insert some coffee good morning picture here:

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Al Roker is in da house!

More facebook ditties ( I originally put diddies but autocorrect says NO) for you all.  That is right. Our local news has reported Al Roker came in today at KI Sawyer International Airport to tour NMU campus. Our little spot in the world is getting too well known. People are finding us. I believe it is time to hide.

Al Roker tours Northern Michigan University campus

Al Roker lands in Marquette, ready to break another World record

I have another post I did for today but it is still in drafts. I am creating a page for my controversial blog posts. Read at your own peril. Especially since they are my opinions and thanks to my Grandma plus tons of psychology, I am very vocal. I really don’t give two sheets what anyone thinks either. Blame it on my Yooperisms.  I just tell it as it is. Some people are ok with that and others want to shoot me. But that is ok. I believe in your rights as much as I believe in my own. I just loved taking those law courses. My procedural and substantive criminal law classes were taught by a high school classmate of our Ex-President Obama.  He told us all about Barry and his wild side. Always remember, people know you and the stories they can tell about you. Which is why I just don’t care. If you knew half the stories my classmates could tell about me, you would think Donald Trump is a saint.  I, like Barry, can not escape my past nor do I want to. It is what shaped me into the vocal witch I am today. I have deep opinions about everything. Which is why I am going to open that controversial page and allow you all to see that side of me. It isn’t a pretty side either. But it is my opinion on today’s problems. I use all my skills and education when I make these humble opinions. You may not like them, but I respect your opinions and I would appreciate you respecting mine in return. We don’t have to like one another opinions to be respectful to one another and to love one another unconditionally.

And now for the facebook glory moments I found for you all. Oh these are gems. I know they will spark something when you go to work tomorrow. Some are funny, some are serious, some are criminal, some are political, but mostly, it is informational.

Mark Zuckerberg is David Rockefeller’s Grandson I Thought Everyone Knew. Did You?

THOUSANDS OF GIRLS ARE LOCKED UP FOR TALKING BACK OR STAYING OUT LATE

Trudeau Will Finally Be Removed From Office In…

HAHAHA! I’ve Never Laughed So Hard At a Music Video! These People Are Hilariously Amazing!

Accidental Shooting in Bates Township

Muslim prayers in schools get provincial endorsement following intense meeting

Mother films ‘horrifying’ pat-down of her disabled teenage son by ‘power tripping TSA agent who left him traumatized for several hours

 

Today’s News off the Facebook Grid

I see so much on facebook and online.

For the next President, I have some advice. Focus on healthcare and foreign policy.  I would really love it if the next person running for President would give everyone a civics lesson. You see the President isn’t all that powerful or great. Why everyone gets so obsessed with this, I have no idea. The real power is in Congress. The President and Supreme Court are there to balance Congress so they don’t get to uppity. The President really is only in charge of very little. The President is Commander-in-Chief of the Military. The President is the face of the U.S.A in foreign negotiations and treaties. The President is usually the tie breaker when Congress can’t really decide but Congress can over turn anything on 2/3 votes. Congress is really who I look at when voting. I could care less who the President is, but I sure don’t want some dope in on a Congressional seat. The President can suggest budget cuts or increases, but Congress is the one making the budget. I would really love the next candidates for President to go out there and tell Americans what this office really does. I want to see them talk about how they will handle these aspects of the job and not play games. I want to see them to have daily meetings with Congress. I want to see all Americans vote in a Congress that will fulfill anything a President wants to accomplish on the campaign tour. We need our governments to work together meaning State and Federal/National. I believe we should be like Mexico and everyone fulfill their civic duty and when done, no more civic duties for you. This should never be a career. You should be dragged kicking and screaming to the office.

The other piece of advice I have for future Presidents, get this country in line for some technologies we pay for with taxes only. Let me give you an example, Tesla created the first WIFI system. Tesla had been given money from J.P. Morgan (a.k.a Chase banks) and made these towers that emitted electricity freely. All you had to do was build a tower and electricity went to any home without wires.  J.P. Morgan made him take it down because it was free and no one could make money from it. The government wants you to pay for stuff you should never have to pay for. I can see giving a bit of tax dollars to keep the towers maintained but do we need electric companies? Not when we have Tesla! I get we are all a capitalist society but still, let’s do somethings to help our citizens before we start paying a million dollars for a car. I am totally for off grid utilities. I think everyone should have their own well and septic system. I just don’t see why we should have to pay out the nose for services that the government thinks we need like electricity. For centuries people didn’t have electricity and they survived. There are alternatives out there. More and more people are wanting to live more freely and take up less space. To me, this is great for wild life. We have taken too much from other beings. Time we all give back!

Nikola Tesla’s Idea of Wireless Transmission of Electrical Energy is a solution for World Energy Crisis

Wardenclyffe Tower

In other news, I have read some interesting news articles today. I miss the days of great journalism. Today, I don’t see anyone making the news and showing us what is behind the scenes. Journalists took down Nixon and then somewhere between the 70s and now, they have lost the ability to take on something, some cause, and really expose it. Where are the undercover journalists? Where are the Fox Mulders of news? Where are the nosy SOBs willing to risk it all for the best damn story in the world? They are lost in time and space, I am afraid. Here are some stories for you. Not the best but pretty good by today’s standard of not getting the whole story or as Paul Harvey would have said, “the rest of the story”!

Two girls barred from United flight from Denver for wearing leggings

Social Media Users Slam United on Twitter After They Reportedly Wouldn’t Allow Girls to Wear Leggings on Flight

Two months out of office, Barack Obama is having a post-presidency like no other

24 hours in a Detroit ER: on the frontline of America’s healthcare debate

Seattle plant failure dumps millions of gallons of sewage

One dead, 15 hurt after gunfire erupts at Cincinnati club

Who Killed the Iceman? Clues Emerge in a Very Cold Case

Verdict turns page in Penn State child molestation scandal

Now unto the Facebook news I discovered today.

Stay Away From Them – This Zodiac Sign is Pure Evil

Tiny Homes Banned in U.S. at Increasing Rate as Govt Criminalizes Sustainable Living

Types of opal with photos

Why My Family Doesn’t Allow Sleepovers

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Randy Bish, Editorial Cartoonist

I created more for Foxy as well. I just need to go to the dollar store for some pipe cleaners so I can create his hook and I want to look for some different yarn for his tail. I was thinking the fake fur yarn for it. I have a portion of his arm with the hook already done. I am just exploring options on the tail.

 

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Sewn together without the tail and hook arm

I had to run to the store for more coffee today after running out. Good thing for me I have tea available. My Grandma taught me to let black tea steep for quite a while. It thickens up to be like coffee then. I keep it around for emergencies or for when I really don’t want coffee. I have Earl Grey as well. I really love Earl Grey. I keep bergamot around for when I am out. I add 1 drop to my tea cup and that makes Earl Grey. All you need is black tea and bergamot.

I have to go to the store for cardamom as well. I am out. I want to make cinnamon bread but I need cardamom for it.  I don’t know if any of you use it, but being of Finnish descent, I do.

Back to writing for now. I will write to you all later!

 

Another Day Away From Facebook

Yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to post anything. It was the last day of school for my girls as in they are now on SPRING BREAK!

I did find some very interesting news on facebook today. I am just staying away from writing my status reports there but not completely away. I need to know what my friends and family are doing.

If ’70s Moms Had Blogs …

If Your Coffee Table Doesn’t Chill Your Beer, What’s the Point?

3 Signs Someone is Lying to You, Courtesy of a Former FBI Agent

We are getting put on the map lately with Peanut. The latest on that case is here.

Praise continues for canine hero who saved girl

Now I just focus on work for a week and hopefully, getting some direction on these Miss Nose stories. I have a new portion brewing for the Paranormal, Miss Nose and I am working on three more stories for her, my novel, and some articles for my other blog. I am working on some crime essays dealing with forensics as well. I am drinking weak coffee at the moment since I am so out of coffee and in dire need of going to the store. But it is spring break and I am being lazy. Maybe if I remember, I will get to the store and buy some.

I am writing the Reiki and health articles for my blog KWP Money Reiki. I am going to post all those massage articles there. Any nutrition or aromatherapy I write about will go there. I am trying to make those articles really shine. They have to be great. I want them posted well enough that I can put them in the spa’s newsletter for my clients. It means a ton of research and even asking my clients questions about their experiences. I am offering meditation classes now as well as teaching couples how to massage one another.

I have a few crime articles I am researching. I have been really looking at all the Nicole Brown Simpson photos. Really interesting once you know forensics. You can see the mistakes the officers made that day without even knowing.  The other one I keep going back to is White Boy Rick. Why is this poor boy still in prison?

I am further on Foxy. I haven’t really researched to see if someone has a pattern for him so I have been making him on my own. He isn’t perfect. I am making his arms right now and his tail. That is what is left of him. I am still trying to figure out his hook. Maybe I can use pipe cleaner? I like to do my crocheting without added items but still. I could just make a candy cane and that would work. You see in amigurumi, you can make a strawberry with the same pattern as any other item like a ball or turtle. When I first start out any project the beginning always reminds me of a turtle shell.

Here are some pictures of my progress for you all.

 

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Once I put on his head, this is what he will look like

 

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A close up of the head and body

 

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The muzzle isn’t the best. I should have made it bigger.
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I put a lot of teeth on the bottom. I am seeing my design flaws.

 

 

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A very close up of the head. I have this completely done.

 

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I am thinking I need more for the feet but I am not really familiar with Foxy which makes me uncertain.

I need to get back to writing. I am looking for some freelance writing gigs as well. I love coffee and thought, hey I could write about coffee. I love crime and I can write about that too. I find it unfortunate that our newspapers are going away. They are being outsourced by the world wide web and television. I have a ton to do today. This means I gotta go! Write back soon.

 

Staying Away From Facebook Day 3

I have had a long day. I forgot to tell you all about yesterday. Jordan had 2 teeth pulled. She has hooked teeth so she had to go to a special doctor to have them surgically removed. This is a major problem with someone like her. Her teeth are hooked, she has lax ligaments, makes no growth hormone, and is still the most bubbly child I know. Nothing stops her. She has ADHD and anxiety along with reading compression issues. So many, many issues and she still stays positive. The one thing I worry about is her choice of career. She wants to join the military, or be a security guard at a pizza joint. I am home with her for a few days meaning no work for me. I took the time off since I knew she would need me.

I found some great stuff on facebook and I figured I could share it here. A bunch of news stories that people can read. Very interesting, at least to me, and mostly about crime. There’s those criminal justice classes of mine coming out in me again. I love crime. I see things in news reports and connect them. Do you ever watch NCIS? If you do, you know Gibbs rule number 39. There are no coincidences.  I find this in many news stories. I try to link what is going on with what congress is doing and what other criminal activities are going on in the world.

GibbsR39ForWeb

 

Love It ALERT: If Your Phone Rings Once Then Goes Silent, Here’s The One Thing You Need To Do

San Diego woman dead after turmeric IV infusionIf

You Spot A Tennis Ball On The Ground, Do Not Touch It. Police Have A Dire Warning

Dog owners warned about “tennis ball bombs” ahead of Fourth of July weekend

When clutter is weighing you down … decluttering the home

Some of these are old but remember it is always a great reminder.

Today, I did a ton of cleaning and working on Foxy for her. I am working on his body. Now to do this I had to read a ton of books on amigurumi and watch others do it. I have been watching the Japanese videos and rewinding them to really catch how they are making the hair and such. They really do a great job. They will make the head in two colors and carefully plot each strand. I have seen them use just the crochet hook, a latch hook, and a needle. Some have a special item which I haven’t figured out yet what it is. I have watched them place hair from the bottom and some start at the part located at the top of the head. They have many different ways of completing the same thing.  I found a few American ways of doing them as well. Here, I will post some links for you.

How to Make Doll Hair for Crocheted and Knitted Dolls (fast)

Adding Hair to your Amigurumi Dolls

Doll Hair Tutorial: Latch Hook Method

These are a few. Now one says to make a wig cap and I watched her do this and sew it on. Wow. Another makes them very interestingly and then glues them. She does it in 15 and 30.

Let me show you one in Japanese that I have been watching over and over. I do this to figure it out.

【初音ミク】 Making ” Amigurumi MIKU” 【HATSUNE MIKU】

I will find a day as I am off for a week to be with my daughter to put in how you do the amigurumi stitching. It will drive you mad. You have to use your math skills that you told your teacher you would never use in your life.

The video above in Japanese shows how she made the legs for her doll. I was thinking about doing it that way for Foxy. But I went with the traditional doll way for now. I am going to try to do it that next. I didn’t have brown for his pants so I am using black for now.  Let me show you the picture she gave me to base him off of. I am not sure on his belly. I don’t want to do the two-tone color like some do. I am leaving him a solid red.

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I still am working on the body so they are not sewn together yet

 

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It should look good when I am finished.

 

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As you can see, making legs as a whole isn’t easy but doable.

 

Anyway, I need to get back to cleaning and making Foxy. I have a ton to finish before bed.  There is school tomorrow for my kids sore or not they have to go. We had several schools close for illness which I think ours should have. The kids keep getting sick and they keep going. Tomorrow is a half day anyway and next week is SPRING BREAK!

 

Staying away from facebook day 2

Day 2 of my little ban from status updates on facebook. I am so grateful to my friends who are positive and lightworkers. They keep me shining with love! I love the great stories. I am so glad the whole Trump vs Clinton crap is just about done with. I lost people when they found out I didn’t vote for Trump or Clinton. I picked a third-party person since the other two are idiots. When options A and B are horrible look for option C, or as we would say in school on test day, C your way out!

I was totally upset that anyone would delete friends and family over a President. Come on. We all know Congress has the power! I worry more who is elected into the House and Senate than I do President. These people will be serving us and our state. The Senate is good for 6 long years and the House every 2 years. These are the people I worry about and they are the ones with the most power of all. They also love it when everyone is talking about the President because that means you aren’t looking at what they are passing.

I gotta say, Molly is just like a dog to Dave. She stands right by him and follows him where ever he goes.

Some news I picked up on my facebook feed:

Cats rescued during house fire in Gladstone

BREAKING: Kids found safe, suspect search underway in kidnapping

A Woman’s Job Interview Was Cancelled Because She Asked a Simple Question

And the best news in our area is Peanut! Peanut was a rave before when it came out he found the 3 year old girl, but now she is making national news headlines. What a great dog! Our shelter is a NO KILL shelter and no animal is ever put down if they think he/she can be saved. Michigan is a very generous loving state (which is what really angered me yesterday when someone said something not right). We are a giving state and we give all we can. We work hard and will welcome anyone.

This is the orginal that I first saw on facebook since I follow our shelter on there:

Here is the link: Former Abused Shelter Dog now Local Hero

Like This PagePage Liked · March 20 · Edited ·

hero peanut
Former Abused Shelter Dog now Local Hero

Petunia arrived at the shelter last April with 2 broken legs, a belly full of carpet, broken ribs….all injuries happened at different times. Healed, her former owner recently convicted of animal abuse. Petunia has a new name …Peanut and a new chance at life. She has a great new home with a wonderful family….and this formerly abused dog has now Saved the life of a little girl.
#DeltaAnimalShelter

Read story below:

Dear Shelter,
I must share a heartfelt story about how wonderful our little Peanut has been! She has truly been a blessing to our family and we love having her around. As you know, her background was so heartbreaking and we are so happy that we were able to take her into our home and give her the love and the family she deserves. However, I think she still has some “sixth sense” about her past life that she has carried with her.
Today, Peanut was responsible for saving the life of a 3 year old little girl. About 11am this morning, Peanut started going crazy at our house. She was running up and down the stairs, barking and yelping. She then went and got my husband, who was in the garage working on some projects, and alerted him that she wanted to go outside. He said he could hear her running around upstairs but didn’t understand why. He let her outside where she went barreling into the field behind our house at full speed. My husband followed her and to his surprise, he found a naked, shivering, 3 year old girl curled up in a ball. He scooped her up, wrapped her in his sweatshirt, and brought her inside. He called 911 and reported the incident. By the time the ambulance and police arrived, the little girl could only say one thing – “doggie.”
Thanks to Peanut, a little girls life was saved today. She has been such a blessing to us, and now to others. Words cannot express how grateful we are that we have Peanut in our lives and how amazing she is. She is a part of our family now and thanks to wonderful people like you at the shelter, she is alive. Without her, not only would she have been gone from this world, but the life of this little girl might have been taken as well.

Now it is getting national news. I first saw it on Nancy Grace. Peanut the Dog saves 3-year-old naked, freezing tot-girl
Now she has made People and CBS News. I am not sure how many more news sources have her but she sure is making us famous.
And now an update which is being shared from David Moyle, Peanut is getting an award.
Peanut the Dog is now the main reason why Delta County now has a life saving award that can be given to either person or animal.
The full board tonight passed the County of Delta Life Savers Award with Peanut in mind by a 5 – 0 vote. Sheriff Oswald will finish his investigation and give the results of Peanut’s involvement to the Board and we will seek to have this special pup with owner recognized for heroic actions resulting in the saving of a 3 year old girl’s life. Good job Peanut we are proud you are one of our own.
This is it for now.  I will write again when the urge to put a status up falls upon me.

Tuesday’s Nothing File of Nothingness

I really need to get my writing chops back flowing. I have been crocheting these little amigurumi characters instead of focusing on what I should be doing. I have been booking clients for massages instead of working on my three different Miss Nose stories. Oops sorry FOUR Miss Nose stories since I am writing one on here. I have decided to scrap the way I was writing my Ackerman Lake novel and now, I have created a new city in the UP called Ackerman Lake. It will still be the same but I am getting making one location area instead of several. I decided I am going to make this new town as a subdivision town that is being newly developed. They are clearing the woods as we speak. lol.

I have been looking at some freelance jobs to help get some extra cash. I really like one which is writing about coffee. You all know how much I enjoy my java, well, maybe not since this isn’t facebook. I am trying on a 30 day fast from facebook. I am thinking instead of writing facebook statuses, I will write them on my blog instead. This should be interesting.  No tweets either, just blog post in place of what would be a tweet or status update.  Not saying I won’t be sharing cute cat, coffee, and other stuff on those sites but I want to take that time and get it on my blog instead. I need to focus on this writing and most of my updates are about animals in my house like my new goat, Molly, or my funky crochet creatures.

 

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Am I not the cutest thing you have seen all day?

 

 

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I created this cat and his mouse friend.

 

Right now I am designing and creating Foxy from FNAF (Five Nights At Freddy’s) for my daughter. I learned a ton about amigurumi from watching Japanese you tube videos and reading books. It really is a very simple method. You increase and decrease stitches and make shapes. If you can do simple shapes you can make these creatures and dolls. You need math skills though.

You start with a magic ring. Of this I am not kidding! You make a ring around your fingers and you start your chain there. When I first learned crocheting we were told to chain 4, slip stitch to make a circle and then to go in and out of that circle for 4, 6, 8, or how many other stitches we needed to start the pattern, but this magic ring takes away that chaining circle.

The thing about amigurumi is, you never leave a seam mark since you are working in a spiral. I really love this way of creating. I am so enjoying my time crocheting these creatures. I have been translating Japanese (thank you Google) and learning how to create dolls and separate the legs and arms. I am not good yet with arms but I am going to try legs with Foxy! I will of course post a picture of Foxy when I get him done. I am trying to find out which version she wants of him and since all of amigurumi follows the same basic patterns, you can make anything by knowing this. I have gotten so into this, I bought safety eyes and embroidery thread. I am learning how to make eyes with the Japanese girls help. Not easy peasy yet for me.

Here, I will post some pictures of what I have been working on lately.

 

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My alien

 

 

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A rabbit

 

 

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My sisters and I had these stringbean rabbits when we were kids and I have been trying to recreate them with amigurumi. I figured out how to make bow ties as well.

 

 

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My niece tells me he is creepy looking.

 

 

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I made a UNICORN!

 

One day, I will post how you increase and decrease. I have to get back to scheduling for work and looking for some extra cash employment endeavors. More status updates as I stay off facebook later.

Oh, Five Nights At Freddy’s is a game and storyboard background for those who don’t know.

 

A Spectacular Monday Note About Nothing!

First, let me say how much I love the television show Seinfeld. It is a show about nothing but daily life and gossip. I can’t help seeing yesterday as a possible show! Another side note on March 10, 2017, I bought a fainting goat. Her name is Molly.

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I am Molly. I have a wonderful life in the house. No barn for me.

Now country life is about expensive animals. Remember, I have five birds. Joe (the macaw),  Baby Baby (the cockatoo), Pepper (aka Pepsi a TAG), and two cockatiels, Nippy & Coffee! The goat doesn’t like living in the barn with the chickens. Go figure! So, she lives inside my house! I swear, I live in the barn. I have the dogs and cats here as well.

I really should have blogged yesterday, but Sunday was horribly stressful. I woke up to the smell of something burning. It smelled like wood burning. Now this is early morning since we get up at 4 am. It was really powerful around 7:30 am. It took us until 11:10 am to find the problem.

FIRE IN THE WALL!

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The wall from the inside. Look how pretty. Fire did a very nice job on the wall.
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What the nice little fire did to the outside of the wall.

Dave started scrambling (and I don’t mean eggs) screaming for water. I got him a pitcher of water which he poured between the two sides of the wall.  Dave is screaming for water and chairs. He wants ladders and whatever else for the fire. I am screaming for my girls to grab the animals and put them in the barn. You have to understand, some of these animals are very costly monetarily. I really don’t care about tvs, computers, and such, but I do care about life. I sure didn’t want my animals lives to perish.

“PUT THE DOGS IN THE CAR!” I was screaming at Jordan.

“Where do I put the dogs?” she asks me blankly.

“THE CAR! PUT THEM IN THE CAR!” I scream as I am filling another pitcher of water!

“BELLA, GRAB THE CATS AND GET THEM IN THE BARN!”

“Just give me the pitcher of water.” Bella tells me calmly and matter of factly. Bella has Asperger’s and doesn’t really show emotions. She reminds me of a Vulcan! “The cats will be fine.” she says, “The fire really isn’t that bad!” She tells me and rolls her eyes.

I look at her like she is the crazy one. We have a fire in the house! How can this not be bad? I give her the pitcher of water.

“I AM CALLING 911! WE NEED THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! DAVE DO WE NEED THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?”

“WHERE IS MY LADDER? I NEED A LADDER! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! THERE ARE NO FLAMES BUT I NEED A LADDER!”

“JORDAN GET THE CATS OUTSIDE. TAKE THE CAGE AND GET THEM OUT! WHERE IS THE PHONE? I NEED THE PHONE!” Jordan of course isn’t concerned at all about the animals. The fire is way cool and there is some Corey/Cory guy who is live streaming on you tube. This guy is WAY more important than the fact we have a fire going on and should evacuate.

I tried calling 911 on my computer. Did you know the computer will not connect you to 911? It told me it was an invalid number. I have a computer telephone number which allows me to make calls. I even tried Skype which failed. I finally find the phone and call 911 but since it is a cell phone and I live in the country, there are problems talking to the dispatcher on the other end!

“911. What is your emergency?” the male voice on the other end of the phone says to me calmly. I have no idea what is wrong with these dispatchers. They should be concerned and freaking out on the other end. Not calm! Who remains calm when there is a FIRE?

“I NEED A FIRE TRUCK! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!”

A bunch of break up noise and then, “What is the address?”

A bunch of static, noise, a few “WHAT?”, and I finally give him our address. The dispatcher says something to me which I can not tell you what it was even now!

“WHAT? HOLD ON! LET ME GET SOMEWHERE I CAN HEAR YOU!”

I travel upwards to our tiny upstairs which is really a loft. As I travel up the stairs, I say into the phone, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? ARE YOU THERE?”

“Yes, I am here.” he says, “Is everyone out of the house?” I look out the window and see smoke coming from where Dave is throwing water. I see Dave run with the pitcher to the faucet outside getting more water and run back to the smoke. Now mind you, I am upstairs! With a cat and the goat. The cat leisurely stretches. And no, I won’t tell you which one.  Let’s just call him one crazy cat. You see, this cat likes sleeping on my water bed and even a fire won’t move him.

“Oh yes, we are out of the house.” That was a lie! WE and ALL THE ANIMALS were still in the house. I walk back downstairs and get more garble from the dispatcher hoping he heard me tell him I am not in Delta county but truly I am Marquette county. Then I get nothing but noisy static and say to the phone, “THANK YOU. GOOD BYE!”

Meanwhile, Dave is taking a crow bar to the wall and Bella is filling up another pitcher of water. Jordan still has no animals outside and what do I do, freak! FREAK OUT TIME!  Finally, Dave comes in and bitches because the fire department still isn’t here and says, “I have the fire out!” He looked so relieved but was still wanting water. He brings me outside to see the hole in the wall. Then he comes into the house and wants the cell phone. Now, we are running around the house yelling at each other about a phone.

“WHERE DID YOU SET IT DOWN?”

“ON THE TABLE!”

“WELL, IT ISN’T ON THE TABLE! WHERE IS IT? IT DIDN’T JUST GROW LEGS!” he is such a pain in the ass sometimes.

I DON’T KNOW! I COULD HAVE SWORN I SET IT ON THE TABLE!”

“WELL, IT ISN’T HERE!”

Do you ever want to smack someone? Do you know how close he came to being murdered?

Finally, as I was walking behind him, I spot the elusive cell phone on the filing cabinet. He grabs the phone and goes outside. I look out the window because I swear I hear something, and there is a fire truck coming up the driveway. It has been about twenty minutes since I called them. I think we could land a man on mars by the time some of our responders get to the location. Good thing Dave was already on the scene and got it out. The firemen, have axes and they spray more water on the hole in the wall. Bella gets more pitchers of water for the firemen to throw on the wall. They check it with some special heat thingamajob. Then they talk to Dave and leave.

And all this took about an hour out of my day. There is more to my day like the fact I had to calm down and as I was trying to by talking to my sister, my other sister calls. Mom was bleeding and needed to go to the hospital. Mom is stubborn and wouldn’t go so I have no idea how serious that is. But I was so hoping my sister’s conversation would calm me down but when the only phone you have doesn’t work well in these conditions, sadly, it is a bunch of, “I can’t hear you. Can you repeat that? What did you say?” Which does nothing for the nerves.

By the way, my house still smells like burnt wood. Which is how my day started.