Mr. Nose Knows

A reader recently asked Mr. Nose a question.

“Will I pass college and get a job?”

Mr. Nose consulted the cards and drew out the Queen of Wands, The Star, and the Knight of Pentacles.

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“Hmmm” he said.

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Then with a glim in his eye, he responded with, “Yes you will pass college. You need to make sure you put your nose to the grindstone and work really hard to keep up your grades. Hard work is important. It looks like a light haired woman with a black cat will help you on your way. Bast is most pleased with your working. She will always send a helper when needed. Look for your help.”

Then he looked at the cards again, looked up, took a whiff of cat nip and responded to the second half of that question, “The perfect position is right around the corner. This position is just what you need to get your nose wet. You will get a message about this great opportunity coming your way. Bast sees all and will send you great tidings. Just remember when you are in the interview room to make sure they know you are very dependable. Show them your hard work and dedication. Just have perseverance when you are job hunting and exercise moderation financially until your big day comes. Money is right around the corner and opportunity keeps knocking. You will love your new employment endeavor.”

Mr. Nose then walked away. He ran through the yard looking for mice.

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Morning Coffee Break from the Hen House!

Morning is almost over. I have been up since 5 am. Being a farmer means you get up early and start your day cleaning and feeding animals. That is what I did from 6 am to 8 am. I finally got a break from animals and started to clean my house. Then I sat down and ended up at the commons catching up on Day 10 of Blogging 201. Plus all the interruptions of phone calls from 9 this morning. Man, how time flies.

I was cleaning out my deep freezer this morning and guess what I found. A whole tub of whip cream. WHOOT! So excited!

Anywho, here is your daily cup of Joe. I found my troll cup. I really love trolls you know the little dolls. My love started as a child in 1973. I was afraid of the boogeyman. My dad went and found the ugliest thing he could find to ease my fears. He told me the boogeyman couldn’t get me anymore because I had him now. He put him in a trap and when I woke up, he had me check the trap for the monster. My first troll had a green body and pink hair. He was made of green fabric and had a plastic troll head. I wish I still had him. I bet he is worth a ton of cash right now.

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I got some amazing shots of the moon last night as well. I will put those in the roundup episode.

As I say, coffee is better with whip cream and sprinkles.

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Have an amazing day until the nothing episode. Later Gator!

The Valentine’s Day Myth.

The woman staring back at me was not who I expected to see.  I was out on a dinner date when I got called back to the shop. There was a dame there needing someone to take a report. I had to leave my date and rush back to an office that could have easily taken care of business itself without me. Such luck I had, but then I guess that is why I am the leader of our major crimes unit.  My date was not very pleased at all.

“You are always called away on a call.” She said.

“You never spend any time with me.” She yelled.

“It is Valentine’s Day and you can’t even sit through an entire meal.” She screamed to the whole place with those crocodile tears coming down.

Sure make me look like a bad guy and make me feel like a heel. What can I say about dames? They never get the job. They expect roses and you home but forget that money comes from hard work.

The story she was telling me sound like an idiot put it out in some sci-fi magazine. Who would believe this? What was this all about anyway?

“Look.” She says. “I am telling you the truth. It really happened this way.”

“Sure. I believe you.” I said to her.

She looked at me with her wide eyes and then shook her head.

“You don’t believe me. The creature is there. It does exist!”

“Ma’am,” I said still wondering how true this is, “you are talking about a mythical creature that may or may not have really existed. How did you know to look there?”

“I didn’t. I was just looking at my old school and there it was!”

Well who could believe someone with this tale on Valentine’s Day when they could be out having a great meal with a wonderful dame?

Her tale was fanciful. “Now come on” you have to think to yourself without saying it out loud.

The dame left. I walked over to Johnson.

“Come on Johnson. We have to investigate.” I told him and rolled my eyes at the same time.


We walked out and grabbed the nearest squad car. We headed South on Pennsylvania Boulevard.  First witness given to us by the dame was Drake of Drake’s Taxi Cab Service. The dame was in his cab when they both discovered it. Drake has been nothing but trouble since the day he came into this world. He is considered my oldest enemy on this planet.  We have been in many scuffles since we were kids.  He spent more time in the principal’s office than anyone I ever knew. He was thrown in the cage when we were teens for knifing one of our classmates.  He spent fifteen years in the cage. When he got out he opened a taxi service.

Johnson and I pulled up to Drake’s. It looks like a shack since he never repairs the place. Made out of wood with a metal roof, it looks like something our ancestors would have huddled in during a major storm. I cocked my head a bit to get a better look at all the cars parked inside.

Then I saw Drake.  He looked more ragged than when we were young. He has one eye now that looks permanently shut with a huge scar running right down the middle of it.

“What the feather are you doing here?” he screamed as he came flying down the path from the office.

“I am the Detective in charge.” I sourly told him. “Some dame came to the office tonight with some fanciful story. None of which I believe. She even gave me your name. She says you witnessed it as well.”

Drake’s eye got very wide.

“I did.” He said softly. “But don’t say a word. Other will think I have gone kookoo.  I don’t need anyone thinking I need therapy or anything like that. I would much rather not report this. I don’t know why she feels like she has to but I think it is something better left unsaid.”

He looked ashamed of what he saw. He looked frightened as if he didn’t really see it or he was on drugs when he saw it. I didn’t know which.  I didn’t even know if I should believe him.

Johnson looked at him with scrutiny. He was cocking his head left and right like no one’s business.

“Where did you see it?” Johnson asked Drake quizzically.

“By our old high school near the bleachers, you know in the football field!”

“Why were you there?”

“The dame wanted me to take her by there. She said she used to live in this city and went to school at that very high school.  She wanted to take a walk down memory lane.”

Drake looked disgusted at this statement he made. I could fully understand since I know his past. I know why that place haunts him. He was shaking his head all over the place. We could see it in his face. He didn’t like this image at all and since the image is in a place where he already has horrible memories, well, you can imagine what he is feeling.


Johnson and I took off to the high school.  We needed to know if what these two saw was true.  Drake’s office is only five miles from the high school. It took us less than five minutes to get there.  Since the high school sits on what is the equivalent of two city blocks, we decided to take the spot light out for a test run and check out the whole area. Behind the high school is the football field with the bleachers Drake said he saw the creature at.

Johnson and I parked the squad in section F of the high school. This lot is between the high school and the field. We took out our flashlights and headed to the field to search the bleachers.  Johnson and I have two people telling us they have seen this creature.

“You know, “Johnson started pondering, “They could be making this up and in cahoots with one another to send us on wild goose chase.”

“It has crossed my mind. Let’s keep looking.”

After thirty minutes of looking everywhere, we looked under the Southern bleachers. That is when we found it and radioed in for back up to take the mobile cage with them. The creature looked frightened and surprised.

We couldn’t believe it. As far as we knew, they were a myth. A creature of fairy tales used to scare children. No one had ever seen one or knew it really existed until now. Johnson and I were stunned. There standing before us was a human. Something we had only heard of in fairy tales.  As it stood there shaking the creature said with aghast.

“I- I- I- I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! GIANT CHICKENS!”

Johnson and I just stood there waiting for back up, examining the human and taking photos of it with our phones. Once backup arrived we loaded the human into the mobile cage.

“No one is ever going to believe this one.” Carlson threw out there.

“I have forensic photos of it for the report.” Johnson told Carlson.

The Chicken Patrol came from Washington to gather the human for study.  They are interrogating the creature to see if others exist. They took copies of our reports and told us not to discuss this with anyone. It looks like a major cover up on Washington’s part. We still have proof with my report. Which I will conclude this way:

I guess humans exist after all.

Lt. Harold Crow

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A Twisted Thursday Episode of Nothing At All with Pictures of Diamond Nose to Boot

This morning at 4 a.m. I was awaken by my face being tickled. Mr. Diamond Nose had gotten into the house from outside by going under my house and coming in through the hole. That is how all the animals get into my house unless they are too big. I was sleeping well til then. Nope. He didn’t want me to sleep at all. I tried with all my might to get him to lay down and sleep. Yeah, right! He decided…

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A Twisted Thursday Episode of Nothing At All with Pictures of Diamond Nose to Boot

This morning at 4 a.m. I was awaken by my face being tickled. Mr. Diamond Nose had gotten into the house from outside by going under my house and coming in through the hole. That is how all the animals get into my house unless they are too big. I was sleeping well til then. Nope. He didn’t want me to sleep at all. I tried with all my might to get him to lay down and sleep. Yeah, right! He decided he needed lovin and wasn’t going to stop til I gave him what he wanted. He just kept nudging and purring. Then he decided it was play time and went after our feet. That woke up Dave. Nice.

We both kept trying to get him to lay down and sleep. Nope. Not happening. After an hour, we gave up. We got up and started our day. Dave didn’t go tree cutting today. Instead he worked on those cars that make my yard look like a used car lot. He has one just about done. He had to call the guy to see if he wanted an engine swap. He doesn’t just yet but will let Dave know when he does. He is just going to run this engine til it dies and then get an engine. Smart thing to do is have the engine at your house until this one blows. That way you can swap fast and be back on the road.

My back and tummy have been really hurting today. I don’t know if I did something yesterday when I helped to push the van off the trailer or what.

I am having issue with my internet AGAIN. It keeps telling me my sites aren’t secure. BS. Since getting AT&T this past year, I hold the record on service calls. I am paying for 6 mbps and I am lucky if I get 2. Most days I get 0.16 mbps. Lucky me, eh. I just keep giving them money and getting kicked. This is why I keep calling them and complaining.

I had to take a ton of pictures of 24 month clothes that are in my rummage sale. I am getting sick of that too. Come on folks. Really? Why can’t you come to the rummage sale? I put it out on every site that I am having one plus pay for it in the paper. What do I get? Endless comments in my other box on facebook wanting pictures from my rummage sale. I got really upset with one woman and told her flat out, ‘come and look yourself. I am out of data and not taking any more pictures for anyone!’ That is just crazy. Get off your lazy arses and come to the damn sale. Look for yourself. How did people get this lazy anyway? I think I need to start making sales ads and mailing them to people’s homes. ‘Oh today I have a sale on lamps. Here are your pretty pictures of my used lamps!’ Do you all see me rolling my eyes?

I tried to get caught up and find as many people as I could from my blogging class. I like reading other people’s posts. I am thinking about crocheting for a while. I haven’t written a word on my Saturday story today. Of course, facebook didn’t help! I would play the violin but my daughter is now playing it. She took it up in kindergarten. My other daughter is playing the flute. They have my guitar strings ruined. I need new ones for the guitar and my house is too small for a piano so I had to get rid of that. Knitting and crocheting help me think. It takes my mind off of what I am doing and lets the creativity flow.

Did I tell you all how much I hate water? Well, I don’t really hate it, but it is all I can drink. I am tired of the taste or should I say the lack of taste. I need to make a run into town to get some supplies. I can buy some lemons, limes, & some frozen fruit to add to my water then. I can stick that into a pitcher with the water and voila, instant flavor. I just want you all to know pancreatitis sucks. I pray it doesn’t become chronic.

Tomorrow I will put up a new coffee mug. My daughter cleaned her room and found my troll cup. YAY!!!!

I will give everyone what the want now. Pictures of Mr. Nose.

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May your cell phone never crack! May your dreams come true!

Here is your Hump Day Round Up Episode About Nothing At All Except Maybe Cheech & Chong.

Today has been long. I was awaken at 3 a.m. with pain. Oh what fun that is. There isn’t anything to really watch on television at 3 a.m. so Netflix here I come. I watched a bunch of old episodes of Emergency. Do you remember that show? I do. My parents watched it faithfully in the 70’s. I know, I just gave away my age. lol. But oh well. I tried to get some sleep in but it has been naps for a few…

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Here is your Hump Day Round Up Episode About Nothing At All Except Maybe Cheech & Chong.

Today has been long. I was awaken at 3 a.m. with pain. Oh what fun that is. There isn’t anything to really watch on television at 3 a.m. so Netflix here I come. I watched a bunch of old episodes of Emergency. Do you remember that show? I do. My parents watched it faithfully in the 70’s. I know, I just gave away my age. lol. But oh well. I tried to get some sleep in but it has been naps for a few minutes here and there all day. I can’t wait til they get this thing out of me and life can return to normal. I am hungry and really want to eat.

I have 3 more feral mama’s to spay and wouldn’t you know it, they come on August 15th. I have surgery on the 10th. If it is like last time, I will be in the hospital and after I come home, I won’t be wanting to go anywhere. It took me a week to start feeling better last time. I had to go on a laxative to help me go to the bathroom. It felt like I was giving birth to each turd after that “procedure”. That is what they call my surgery, a “procedure”. Not when you are in the OR and under sedation is that a “procedure”. Not when recovery time is spent in the hospital is that a “procedure”. I think these doctors have all gone completely batty!

I am working on my Saturday story for you all. Today Baby Baby and I got 1724 words done on that story. It took us a while to get an idea for the story and then to plan on how it should end. Baby Baby wants to be the bad guy but I told him he already was with the Lois story.

I got some shots of the sky. It looked like rain for a bit but it blew right on by.

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Dad stopped. He bought raw hides for Tilly and Ryder. Ryder was happy but Tilly keeps stealing his.

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Of course, because I was taking pictures of Ryder and not paying attention to the hens, I got photo bombed by one.

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Dave’s business has my house looking like a used car lot. He is working on one person’s engine and it is bad. He has to replace a part on it and clean all the little holes where oil flows. I am not a mechanic so I have no idea what every thing is or what he is doing but I have pictures on flickr. Just click and it will take you there to see what he is doing. But anyway, my yard.

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I was working on Saturday’s post and I just kept feeling watched. I looked over to my left and guess what was watching me.

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That’s right, A HEN! I took a picture of her since she was watching me.

With everything I do around here, I am really behind talking to everyone in the forum for my blogging class. I need to get to that tomorrow. Or even tonight if I get up at 3 a.m. again.

May your eggs be healthy! May your sky be blue.

Hump Day Coffee Madness With Cheech & Chong From the Hen House!

Our pot of coffee is made. We added sprinkles to our coffee. We are out of whipped cream 😦 It is a great morning today. A cool breeze is blowing. Baby Baby and I are playing with the minions. I need to go to town soon for supplies. I am very grateful the docs gave me a different med for the acid reflux. I can have a few cups of coffee now. It has to be like tea but I can have some. I added a…

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Hump Day Coffee Madness With Cheech & Chong From the Hen House!

Our pot of coffee is made. We added sprinkles to our coffee. We are out of whipped cream 😦

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It is a great morning today. A cool breeze is blowing. Baby Baby and I are playing with the minions. I need to go to town soon for supplies. I am very grateful the docs gave me a different med for the acid reflux. I can have a few cups of coffee now. It has to be like tea but I can have some. I added a shake of yellow sprinkles to my cafe this morning.

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I made a pot of Black Cherry Crisp. Very good black but for a kicker, I added in a chocolate creamer. I tried it with the white chocolate as well. Oh, you talk about heaven!

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It is suppose to get up to 83 degrees. The cats are already coming in. I have pictures of how dead they were yesterday. Today isn’t going to be any different. I had to help one of Dave’s clients take a van off of his trailer. That was a mistake. Now my tummy hurts. Dave is off with Adrian cutting down trees. They are both making money getting trees trimmed, stumps removed, and taking down dead trees. A Yooper has to do what a Yooper has to do. Plenty of people now have firewood in their yard thanks to those two.

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I got a picture of Cheech and Chong up in the cherry tree.

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They are so damn cute. Up in the tree, they are. They flew up there.

Lastly, here is last nights moon. It is getting fuller. We are suppose to have a blue moon this month. Can you believe it is already July 29th? Man, how time flies.

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Baby Baby and I are off to continue writing Saturday’s story. I will write another nothing episode later.

A Nothing Episode About Taco Tuesday With More Pics of Cheech & Chong

Baby Baby and I started our day outside finishing the story for Friday. We have that done and scheduled. That will be my first here so cross your fingers let’s all hope it works. Baby Baby can still fly so to protect him I put him in a cage. He doesn’t like the cage but it is for his safety. I took a picture of him. I told him to pose for his picture and smile. That is what I got. Leave it to a…

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